My writing is my escape. I don't entirely understand my own emotions and identity, so I don't expect others to entirely understand them either. However through writing I can work towards explaining myself, to others, and most importantly to myself. Often people will jump to conclusions and often I find myself wishing they'd give each other a chance to explain themselves. Now I have made myself that chance by creating this blog in which I will simply post assorted pieces of my works of writing. Some will be creative, others autobiographical, some may even be prophetic, all with display assorted perspectives that I have experienced throughout my life. Some of these perspectives I have discarded for other ones, or changed to create a more open minded worldview. My hope with this blog is to slowly build myself an identity by the feelings I felt while writing the pieces, and hope to convey to the people I share them with.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Thank God for a Good Day

             I've been having a tough time lately, that little squirrel in my head just keeps runnin' the wheel off the tracks and I'm having a hard time keeping up.  I wrote my General Agronomy final this morning, crammed for two hours in the library prior to the final and then went and let the information I'd crammed into my brain ooze back out onto the paper. I got the bonus question right, that much I know for sure.  (A big rancher and a little rancher are neighbours.  The little rancher is the big rancher's son, but the big rancher is not the little rancher's father. How is this possible?)
             Then I spent the day puttering in my room, I got a care package from the church I grew up in and it made me smile and feel very strengthened.  But then I had a nap, and I woke up not wanting to wake up, I didn't want to go out and face the world again. I dragged my butt to our review session with my Range and Forage Crops teacher, then I dragged my butt out to the barn.  I dawdled along, saddling my horse at a snail's pace.  Finally I lead her into the arena to warm her up.  Even though I said a prayer to God for help with my bad attitude and a plea for a good ride I was still in a foul mood. I'm always a little more focused and immediate with my training when there is less people around, so when Billy dropped her shoulder as I was longeing her around I lost patience and gave her a good snap on the rump with my rein.  It got her attention, she didn't like it very much, but I told her that frankly, I didn't care, I was sick and tired of her attitude and if I had to get over my bad attitude so did she.  I hopped on her and the little nag didn't even shy at a darn thing, sure she looked at some things and she sheepishly ventured to drop her shoulder in, but I put a stop to it with firm hands on the reins and a leg on her.
By the end of the ride she was picking up her right lead departures and moving around her circles collected nicely. I REALLY have to ride her going to the right, but once I focused she got the point, and it felt great!
                I don't know how the riding exam is going to go tomorrow, but at this point in time I'm not too concerned because my horse did good today and that is all a trainer should ever ask for or worry about. Besides, I know my pattern. I asked a friend for advice and he told me, "Just ride your horse. Don't think about it, just know what you have to do, and ride..."

So tomorrow I ride! And tonight? I simply thank God for a great day.
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